Well, even though no one reads these. *is so unpopular its pathetic* I'll post all my news going on. But here is a warning, I had a chibi fight type thing with my bf so I'm in a really depressed mood so I'm venting. I don't care if yall dunt like it. Like I said, no one reads these anyway. So lets begin the rant.

Work: I'm run ragged from work. I'm so f**king tired of being a media monkey. And to make it worse, this guy at my work was saying how we don't cs enough and people are going to get fired. I'm like, "Shut the hell up. I'm the only person in the whole goddam store that does shit so I don't need to take that from a total retard like you." Ok, so I didnt say it out loud but still.... I FELT it! And I'm just tired of doing the same damn thing everyday. wake up and walk in the heat to the bus stop, take a full friggin school day, ride the hot bus, stuff fast food in my mouth and throw on uniform, stalk product til close, help bitchy and fat customers find movies er whatever, deal with the "bitch" customer, closing duties *I usually do most of them*, get picked up *usually late...*, stuff a distgusting burger down my throat, go home and shower, start hw at like 11:30 if I'm lucky. Try and talk/play with friends/boyfriend. And thats it. ugh... I suuuuuuck. XD

School: Aside from losing alot of my friends *is hurt deeply inside and has cried on a few rare occasions because of it* its just another school day. Taking unnessisary classes really bothers me. And the fact that I don't have my kopic pens for Ap Art... o well.... I'll get them one day. And David has been trying to help me with math.... I'm such a lost cause. I don't know why I don't get this stuff. It makes me so angry at me to know that I can be this stupid when I'm also smart. If that makes sense. Whatever. I wish I had a half day.... and car.

Family: Well aside from the ever constant bombardment from my mom concerning her teeth. "It wasn't hurting today then I poked it." Smart. Real smart. "Mom, please don't hurt yourself anymore, please? You arn't making things better..." In one ear and out the other. My dad is... well, my dad. My sisters are their usual selves. Steph is popular and Xtina is irritable and I don't really know why. And just the usual stress from all angles on a daily basis. I've come to terms with the fact that I can never do anything right or make anyone happy. Especially not my family who think I'm a problem child. How can I be a problem when I'm almost never home and the reason I am not is because I contributing 100% to society and a bright future for myself? Wtf is the problem with me anyway?! Why can't I have a break?! Why can't I spoil myself?! Why can't I be selfish for a while?! I'm not good at pretending to be something I'm not. I won't suck up to anyone. Thats not how I handle people. I can't suck up to my parents I mean... I'm not disrespectful. I'm just a realllllly independent thinker. oh well. families are disfunctional anyway.... right?

Social: I have no real social life. I hang out with Mel (the only person thus far to be absolutely normal and cool no matter what. I don't need to stress. Me and Mel are good friends because we don't want the stress. kick ass peace out.) My work mates are starting to become fewer.... I hate my female coworkers. They are all stuck up half witts who don't like me because I don't flirt with every guy in the store. Me and David.... dunno what to say. I hope we don't break up. I really like him a lot and could see us being a successful couple. I cried like a moron tonight. I'm not sure why. It just hurt to have someone I care so deeply about say to my face how awful I am. I mean, I already knew I suck but ja.... it's always painful to have your biggest anxieties hit u in the face. But relationships do have highs and lows.... thats why you work at them to make them strong. I'm just doubting if he wants to work on it anymore. o well, can't stress too much.... gotta try and keep my grades up. gotta work that 10 hour shift saturday. Gotta make time for everyone. Gotta make sure I'm not leaving my sister out of all the F**KING FUN I HAVE. Gotta curl up in my bed and have a long relaxing cry and eat a ham sandwich.... o ja..... hammy sammy goodness....

Well... its 1:30 am now and I'm too tired to rant anymore... I think I pretty much covered all my horrors for today. Wow... I'm such an emo. I deserve what I get. lol

Later.

-Demona of the Gargoyles